We all have to start somewhere

I think I've been waiting for some kind of sign to tell me "you are now to start your blog. And this is what you are to accomplish with it:..."
Yeah, not so much. Although, I did have one of those moments where I thought 'today is the day' (as a chorus of angels singing filled my tiny dorm room, followed by a breeze sweeping through my window on cue, throwing my hair back Charlie's Angels style as a light falls on me). Or something like that. But I did in fact feel strangely motivated to just start. I didn't know what I would say and I still don't know what my goal is. Perhaps it will make itself apparent as time -days, months- go by. If it's anything like my imagination, what comes up will probably have no coherence; for a while. In the end everything will strangely find a way to tie itself together to produce a meaningful epiphany that sheds some tangible truth on the reality of who I am, and I hope others can relate.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Do you know where I took this picture??


It's the small things in life, the little details, that make me happy. Why is that? People look for such grandiose things, and I'll admit that it's traveling that I want to do more than anything and I will never be quite happy enough unless I get a dose of it every now and then. But when I travel I see myself sitting by the window of a cafe in some small close-knit town lost somewhere in the world, watching the people passing by and learning what I can about the friends sitting next to me. I want to learn how to play soccer from a group of teenagers in the poorer parts of a cultural oasis so that I can earn myself some dirt and dust stains. I want to walk through the marketplace of an eastern village and buy what I would need as if I lived in their world and come back with a special bracelet that may seem insignificant. I want to make close bonds of friendship and visit their homes and their families so that the trip will merge the foreign with my life. Anywhere and everywhere. Not just see the details, but experience the acute joy they surround my soul with.


Enjoying the sunset in Östersund. The anticipation for the start of the music festival Storsjöyran is making its way.

My inspiration for this post... despite being the middle of finals week here at Case Western. "A snack and a book" never fails to bring me back to my sane state of mind.

Add your own personal greeting to the next transportational device you see...



Shamelessly be who you were meant to be.


Cooking some of Julia Childs Beef Bourguignon with my childhood friends (Mind you I've never advanced beyond spagetti)



Family treasures I discovered after exploring the contents of some neglected boxes in a musty storage room.



The walk through Gamla Stan that could easily have taken me through to the next day!




P.S. I took the picture in the middle of a moss covered forest somewhere far away from America. But does it really matter?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sometimes I don't realize how caught up I am in the framework of life. This frame; it is made. Man-made. And many of us including myself follow it blindly. School, work, obligations, that which we are taught to value, our daily schedules, our mindset towards individual success and thinking towards the future, and so many other details, compose this warped frame made to look ideal but that keeps us from breaking, even looking, out every once in a while.

Sitting at my desk in my dorm room now at 2:08 in the morning everything looks different. 4 hours ago I set aside my psychology reading after worrying about whether or not the university Program Board I am part of will be able to do the catering we promised, or worrying about the sudden realization over dinner that I need classes picked out by Tuesday (of which I have hardly the slightest plans. More appointments, woohoo.) or the financial updates I need to make to start planning study abroad or, as a Resident Assistant, worrying about certain residents. I even set aside all other concerns drifting around in my mind decidedly trying to make my life more difficult by not landing in my memory. After setting aside all this along with my textbook, I intentionally let it all go. I just went out to learn how to play rugby at 11pm with my friend and make a few phone calls with some long-lost friends, NO STRINGS ATTACHED. What a breath of fresh air! I didn't realize how well I had adjusted to breathing in the aroma of varnish from constantly polishing the frame. But i think everyone, myself included, needs to stop and smell the roses more often than they probably do. It was such a simple reboot of life, but I am so calmed and ready to embrace whatever life has to offer, whether or not it lies within the deceiving frame. All the work and duties i have - I remember now that I do it all, not because I am tied to them and therefore can blindly follow through with everything without worrying about falling away, but because I choose too and decide to make my time worthwhile through everything that I do.

CAUTION: do not fall prey to the frame
tips: see it, recognize it, know it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOTcr9wKC-o&a=QjpW7pM9_JU&playnext_from=ML