We all have to start somewhere

I think I've been waiting for some kind of sign to tell me "you are now to start your blog. And this is what you are to accomplish with it:..."
Yeah, not so much. Although, I did have one of those moments where I thought 'today is the day' (as a chorus of angels singing filled my tiny dorm room, followed by a breeze sweeping through my window on cue, throwing my hair back Charlie's Angels style as a light falls on me). Or something like that. But I did in fact feel strangely motivated to just start. I didn't know what I would say and I still don't know what my goal is. Perhaps it will make itself apparent as time -days, months- go by. If it's anything like my imagination, what comes up will probably have no coherence; for a while. In the end everything will strangely find a way to tie itself together to produce a meaningful epiphany that sheds some tangible truth on the reality of who I am, and I hope others can relate.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I was driving today with my bichon in the passenger seat to drop off Sherlock Holmes which I had rented from a redbox. On the way, I saw a man, in somewhat dirty gray jeans and loose gray jacket over a t-shirt. He wore a cap over long grey hair and beard and he looked to be about 60 or older. He was holding a sign that said “Hungry diabetic. Anything helps.” He was standing in the corner of an intersection when I passed him. Returning home I was looking at him again as I was waiting at a red light. A couple drivers turning the corner opened their windows and handed him some money, and a thought hit me that I could drive down the street and get him a meal from somewhere. I was still thinking about it when I turned the corner and started driving down the street. But since I had not yet fully made up my mind and I hadn’t switched over to the right lane, I drove on past the places I could have gotten something. And I thought to myself, am I really that terrible that out of a minor inconvenience I wouldn’t stop to perhaps do an act of kindness that could potentially have meant a lot to that man? Of course I didn’t know the circumstances exactly, but what does it matter. What do I really know about it? Sometimes I never question that I am, for the most part, a very kind person. But it is not always fulfilling the acts placed upon you that makes you that person. Sometimes you need to create that act from a simple sense of initiative and empathy. For me, something like this is not something I easily forget.

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